A lame sort of day

Today I woke up in one of those moods. Those moods where everything seems bland, you’re tired the daily grind and really the only remedy seems to just keep sleeping because thinking about anything is just annoying.

This feeling comes on the heels of yesterday, a day which was full of too much emotion. I called her to setup our date, so as you can imagine being at work all day, I spent too much thinking about the wrong thing.

The rule is that such a phone call should really only last about 10 minutes max. I managed to even fuck that up. I knew going in that I would have to keep it short and sweet but somewhere I lost track of things. I ended up talking to her for around 50 minutes. I was quite pissed with my unacceptable performance, but that’s ok I tell my self today. You live you fuck up and you learn. Gotta remember, failure is key. That thought certainly still does make you feel better. Suddenly failure is an accomplishment all to itself. Everybody likes to accomplish something. Anyways I digress. Towards the end of her questions and stories and my willingness to answer them I finally remembered what I called her for in the first place. So she ran through her week and apparently she’s busy pretty much everyday with one thing or another. In the end it was going to be Friday but I bumped it up to Thursday night. That gives me two days to spend thinking about anything else.

Honestly today I woke up wondering why I care so much. I still don’t know, feels like there is stuff that has to get sorted out. The lesson being of course, keep it short and sweet, around ten minutes maximum. I doesn’t matter if you’re having a good conversation, make some shit up and say that you have to go, make you plans and get on with it. You will not only feel proud but your ego will be strong. Yes it may not be easy, or seem like the proper thing to do, but trust me, you have to leave people wanting more. Being satisfied is boring, being thirsty is what propels us. Obviously don’t think that it’s a big deal, I mean just look at me, I messed it up but I live another day. So if you don’t believe me, please feel free to do it your own way. Of course the main reason that I say all this is for the simple fact that you don’t want to invest too much time into a relationship away from actual dates. Remember everybody’s best game is, and what actually counts the most is on the dates themselves. However if you talk to her on the phone for way too long, or on msn, you risk ruining your first impression.

If you do “mess up” and talk to her for an hour instead of 10 minutes be ready for a whiplash of hindsight. You will look back and think, had you only done this or that differently then the outcome will have had a much more positive potential. Ignore and don’t dwell on hindsight. Yes you could have, yes you should have but at the end of the day you might still get lucky. Even if you don’t (chances of getting lucky are not really all that high) then make a notch on your experience belt, straighten yourself out and move forward. Because if there is anything I learned, it’s that to be happy with anything, you have to earn it. When we get things for free, or without effort we do not appreciate them because we do not understand what it takes to obtain them. So the biggest gift of all, is the experience that you gain on your way to the goal. Your goal is just the light at the end of the tunnel that is the icing on the cake.

You are the prize 😉

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