the first flight

Sure has been a while since I posted. I actually visit my site regularly but for some reason I don’t have anything that I feel like writing about. I guess to add to my unwillingness to be creative, I’m also engaged with a few other things. Mainly it is work, TAing and class. I was until 12 last night marking student midterms. I went to the gym yesterday too, plus I TAed and had class. Pretty saturated day.

Overall I’m kind of mellow. I can’t say I’m satisfied with everything thats happening, but at the same time I’m not discontent. Today for instance we’ll be picking up our new car. That means that tomorrow I officially have a car. One would think that I’d be thrilled but now there’s the issue of insurance + gas costs to worry about.

Originally written sometime in late July or early August.


Faith, Religion and God

The most talked about subject on and off the internet. The one that ruins marriages, strains family relationships, alienates friends, starts flame wars and accomplishes nothing. Yes I’m talking about the debate between Atheists and Theists.

Today’s post (long overdue and it’s been kind of dry lately eh?) was inspired by AngryLittleGirl. Jessica, as she calls herself, is an attractive 18 year old from some part of the US (as I can only guess?). The way I found her was because of her response to the Blasphemy Challenge posted on their site.

Jessica is a “proud Atheist” and has made more than a dozen videos mocking and poking fun at religion and people’s faith. Which exactly where my gripe lies. While I know all too well how annoying it is when religious groups try to force on you their religious beliefs, at the same time I know that I couldn’t force myself to take the Blasphemy Challenge. Not because I fear God, I’m not even religious, but because I can acknowledge the fact that we know and understand very little of what is around us.

Do yourself a favour and on a clear night look up at the sky. Look past the dots of light and realize that there is something at work all around us. Something much bigger than ourselves and our silly debates.

I have friends who are quite the scientists. Studying DNA and molecular biology. The consensus is that the world around is far too complex to have happened by chance over millions of years.  So I’m not ready to denounce anybody just because of their beliefs.

Is anything ever easy at first?

I was helping my mom around the yard today. The weather is finally beautiful.

She asked me to make a border around one of our gardens. I had to grab a shovel and bend over digging up a trench around the garden. Easy stuff, but after doing the circumference of the garden my lower back was in pain. Which prompted me to ponder about how rarely things come easy in life.

On our first attempt at something new, we are often greeted with discouragement because we encounter pain, fatigue and failure.  A lot of the time we get discouraged and don’t try to improve. In reality of course all it takes is time.

HG Wells – If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

Song of the day: Gym Class Heroes – Cupids Chokehold

Weird Result

I think I’ve ignored this issue long enough. It’s not that big of a deal but I’ve had a pretty dry week with not much exciting stuff to ponder. So I’ve decided to ponder about the following oddity…

As you might recall I had a date with this girl, we’ll call Sarah Jessica Parker. The connection is that one of her favorite shows is “Sex and the City” so I thought it was only fair. Anyway I stumbled onto Sarah on this dating site. I wasn’t actually actively searching for anybody on there, nor have I ever dated anybody off of the web. She looked cute, her profile said she was ambitious, so why not? I messaged her, we got some good rapport going. I added her on msn and we talked for a bit. I tried to keep conversations down to a minimum because I don’t like getting to know someone online, feels too two dimensional. Anyway everything seemed to be promising. She seemed attentive and interested, when we did chat it’d last for like 2 hours. It turned out that we knew a lot of the same people, everything seemed legit. So I talked to her a total of maybe 2-3 times then I was busy with work and gone for the weekend to Toronto. While in Toronto I decided to ask her out once I got back. That is exactly what I did when I got back. I even called her to chat and set up the time and place. Great everything seemed good.

Come Thursday 10 pm, I drove to meet her after work. It was a bloody cold day so that somewhat limited enjoyable possibilities. So I picked her up. Yes I have to admit I was abnormally anxious and nervous. Mostly because I had never met anyone from online and she seemed like a pretty great girl. Now here is where it gets interested, or doesn’t …

So we met and nothing happened. Internally I mean. I didn’t feel an extreme attraction or anything. In fact if I was to describe the situation it would be completely neutral. We grabbed some coffee/tea walked around the cold and windy streets of Ottawa. We ended up sneaking into a local mall to defrost and perhaps grab some drinks. That didn’t happen either as a bunch of stuff was closing for maintenance. All the while we were talking about a variety of subjects but nothing “exciting”. I don’t mean to make it seem like it was her fault but it just didn’t feel like we had established a physical rapport (maybe because it was cold) but both of us were clearly in reserve mode. Later we migrated to a local bubble tea place (which one of my friends recommended) and finally took a seat. I managed to spill a drink on myself twice but what can you do. So we talked and talked but I had a feeling that we were running dry of simple talk. Neither of us got personal so when the bubble place was closing at quarter to twelve we headed for the cash. Here comes the most exciting part of the evening.

As we were walking to the cash I put my hand on her back and said that I’d cover it. She said something which I didn’t quite hear. I figured we’d decided to pay of ourselves. Apparently not. She told me she’d pay for it. I said we’d split it? She said that since I drove she’d pay for it. Uhh ok, I’m not exactly poor plus I asked her out so I’d really appreciate it being on me. I said I’d pay once more she declined so I said that she can pay if she insists. She said she does. Ok fine, what am I going to wrestle you for the cheque? I’m certainly not. So I didn’t and she paid for it. The walk back to my car we started to talk about why she paid for it but somehow the subject got switched and I didn’t bring it back up. I realized it was quite chilly (windy) and figured hey I’ll offer her my jacket after all she was dressed more to impress than to keep herself warm. Declined again. Fine by me, my job is to offer right?

We made it back to my car, I was still kind of not very impressed by her performance so I stuck out my hand for a handshake because obviously there was no click. She said she’d give me a hug as though she was doing me a favor? Uh ok sure a hug no problem. She made some last moment remarks about staying in touch or something like that and I just squeezed in if she needed a ride back to her place? She declined yet once more. Fine, great, really I don’t mind I was offering for her sake. I got in my car and drove home extra fast so that I could catch a bit more Zzz. That gives you an idea of how there wasn’t any connection there at all.

A day and some went by, I decided to post on her wall and poke her. I posted saying how I couldn’t believe she did “that” with a 😛 face and said I hoped she survived the cold. A day later I checked back to her wall wondering why she hasn’t responded (she was always quick at responding). What I found was that my wall post had disappeared. Ok so maybe it was a fluke? A few more days went by and I decided to poke her for good measure to see if maybe it wasn’t a technical mishap. No response … Of course now it is pretty evident of what has happened. I’m pretty sure she’s blocked me on msn as well. However it doesn’t bother me on an emotional level, it’s just kind of strange for somebody who seemed so well balanced to be acting in such a way. I’ve attempted to extract logical reasoning from why she might have taken such a negative stance but I decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

Considering the fact that she was the one who told me to keep in touch and then this? ahh you girls 😉

Linkin Park – What I’ve done

Pretty deep video. For a higher quality version you can check out this link.

Makes you wonder

I posted on her wall last night. This morning I was browsing her profile, not sure why I was, but funny thing is that my post has disappeared …

I can’t believe you did that 😛
hope you survived the cold

… is what it said. At least I think that’s what I posted, maybe I didn’t actually post and rather imagined posting? Nah, no way I’m crazy. So I’m sure there is a perfectly good reason as to why it has disappeared but I can’t help but wonder.

When you get the impression that things are too good to be true, yet more proof that they probably are.


Being nice is easy, being indifferent is hard.

How do you act indifferent to a girl that you fancy? Seems like an impossible task. For a lot of people it makes more sense to accommodate for her every move in hopes of getting her to like you. People are odd. I’m sure you’ve had the experience of when you found out that somebody had a crush on you. If that person is very open about it, complements you on your every step and tries to make you see how they are willing to do anything for you, you will have lost interest instantly.

Guys reside in only two categories, as far as women are concerned. You’re either dating material or you’re everybody else. Initially every guy has a shot at the dating material zone but for the majority of us that quickly changes. Once you’re exiled from the dating material category, you’re a goner. There have been documented cases of returns however they are as rare as reincarnations. The reason that most guys get a shot at the dating material category is because, despite what you think, she has no idea about who you are, what you’re like and what you are about. Yes that’s right, mystery is your strongest weapon.

Say too much, too soon and you have been demystified. It doesn’t matter if you think so or not. You have to remember that people judge each other constantly. Whenever we get a new piece of information about someone, it shapes our feelings about them. The more we know, the less we care. Just like when reading a book, you start at the beginning and work your way through.

This obviously relates to my post yesterday, less is more young grasshopper, less is more.